Last Days

I'm flooded with an overwhelming sense of emotion right now. We are nearing the end now, Jeff and I will be riding the final miles in together, and I've allowed myself to think of home, of everyone I miss, and also of everything I've seen the past few weeks. Throughout the trip I've been given sharp recollections of people I miss, not the ones I'll be reunited with soon, but those I won't see again, whether by decision or circumstance. My Grandfather, my Mothers's father, has sat heavily in my mind during the entire trip. I can't help but think of him and wish I could talk to him about this entire experience. Loves that I've lost, I can't get out of my head. I miss them, and some in particular I wish I could sit and talk with like we did before. Other memories have swung out of nowhere and planted themselves in my mind. I can't explain this, whether it's the physical toll of the riding, the expansion of my mind by cramming so much into so short a time, or a release of thoughts that've been dammed up. All I can say for sure is that I hold everyone I've loved not only in my heart, but also my mind, and I'm happy to the point of tears that I'll be with most of them soon, and that I wish I could tell the others that they are with me. I hope that they carry a bit of me with them as well. The idea is comforting, somehow.

George has left us now, on his way back to Chicago, and that has made the reality of the end clear to me. He invited me on this trip, and I'm sorry that he won't be joining us to the very end, but he has good reason to go home, and I wish him safe and quick travels. We rode together for the last time yesterday, and it was a good one. Ninety one miles to the Pittsburgh Amtrak station, where we hitched a lift Westward. A cheat, I know, but when finished I'll have 2,000 miles on the odometer, and I'm satisfied with that. George simply stayed on the train, and his absence somehow solidifies the closing of this journey. Jeff and I are at odds in a lot of ways, but we've developed a mutual respect, and I'm glad to be crossing the line with him. He's a good man.

We ride the final miles today, into Canada and Niagara Falls, where we'll find lodging together for the last time. Tomorrow I will take a hotel room alone, to decompress and process a bit, not to mention clean myself, before my Brother and Nephew come to meet me on Friday.

I can't begin to describe the beauty I've seen this past month. The swamplands, the forests, the mountains, the Ocean, the cities and the people. I'll need an equal amount of time just to remember them clearly. Having spent the last night on the train instead of sleeping on a floor, make-do bed, or hotel room gave me the first real chance to think clearly about what I've just done, and it's opened a floodgate. Not to mention that I haven't slept after riding all day yesterday. I'll be making a few more posts, I'm not sure who's been reading this or where their interest lies, but the next two days will give me a chance to center, and I feel like there's something I haven't said yet that's at the back of my mind.

Meanwhile, I'll make the final haul down that ol' dusty road. My horse is tired and my knees are buckled, my eyes are weary and full of dust, but there's an oasis down the road and I sure could use a drink of cool, clear water.